In 1955, “Lolita”coined the term “nymphet” to refer to a sexually attractive girl, typically from ages 9 to 14. A more modern term would be “jailbait.” The most correct terminology for this type of girl is “victim.”
“My Dark Vanessa”(2020) follows the relationship between an English teacher and his 15-year-old student. Anyone who reads the book cannot deny that the titular character is undoubtedly a victim. Of grooming, sexual abuse, and rape. Vanessa, however, does not see herself as a victim. She believes that her groomer/abuser truly loved her, and that she loved him in return.
Set during the start of the #MeToo movement, an adult Vanessa questions the claims of other victims. She thinks of herself as mature, an underage girl who once fell in love with her teacher due to their matching intellect. Vanessa is an unreliable narrator through no fault of her own. The book purposefully explores the different coping mechanisms and trauma spawned by child sexual abuse.
However, one of the strongest aspects of this work is the character development. Slowly, Vanessa begins to question her relationship. She unravels each memory, getting caught on who initiated intimacy, who took charge, and who insisted the relationship remain hidden. By no means is she “healed” by the end of the novel but she’s realized what was done to her.
More than that, she realizes how a relationship from when she was 15 has defined her life. Not in the sense that she’ll forever be marked as “that girl who that thing happened to,” but that her very psychology was altered. “My Dark Vanessa” shows over and over how one abusive relationship can change a person’s life.
The book takes care of each subject matter but presents the hard truths. Abuse victims are likely to end up in abusive relationships again. That minors who experience sexual abuse will view sex differently, whether than be a high sex drive and promiscuous activities or a decreased libido and strict boundaries. Similar themes are explored in “Ever Since” (2023), which follows another young woman coming to terms with the fact that she had been groomed and sexually abused as a child.
Media like this educates and expands the public’s perspective of victims and sexual abuse. These raw stories, incorporating some of the author’s experiences, can help readers understand their own stories. They reflect the changing cultural mores and transforming understanding of sexual abuse.
I’d also like to recognize and acknowledge that women are not the only victims of sexual abuse, nor are any of the behaviors described the only examples of this kind of abuse. “An Open Swimmer” (1982) explores how a young man being groomed and abused in his past has affected his current reality. Though not the sole focus, “Dear Senthuran” (2021) and “Playing With Fire” (2009) are autobiographies in which the authors detail the sexual abuse they suffered as children.
