Sophomore Kenzie Sanders and freshman Andrew Jones as Shelby and Tobey Maguire.
What does Tobey Maguire, a basement in South Dakota, and a corn-hole professional all have in common? They were all part of the play “I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire,” by Samantha Hurley.
Fourteen-year-old Shelby (played by sophomore Kenzie Sanders) is president of the North American and Antarctic Tobey Maguire Fan Club. Nothing would make her happier than to become the happily wedded wife of the original Spider-Man. So, she steals him away while he’s getting his wisdom teeth removed, transports his body by bus, and chains him to a pole in her basement.
Senior Jules Harlow as Shelby’s mother discovering her daughter’s hobbies.
Set in 2003, Shelby’s apathetic mother (played by senior Jules Harlow) pays no heed to whatever her daughter has brewing in the basement. Posters of Maguire plaster Shelby’s bedroom/basement walls and the cherry on top is the real-life Tobey (played by freshman Andrew Jones) plopped in the middle of it all. Despite his screams for help, no help comes.
Hoping that Stockholm syndrome would kick in, Shelby discovers that threats of a taser are the only way to get Maguire to say “I do.” While Maguire initially denies that Stockholm syndrome would ever take hold, months into his capture, he begins to show signs of tolerance and maybe even affection for his captor.
Throughout his kidnapping, Maguire reveals facts about himself that didn’t align with the president of his fan club’s knowledge. Shelby is horrified to discover that he’s not only an alcoholic, but he’s a smoker and uncircumcised, too.
Eventually, Shelby releases Maguire from his restraints under the belief that he would stay. Maguire escapes, and Shelby is left without the supposed “love of her life,” as well as the consequences of kidnapping the one and only Tobey Maguire.
