I don’t hate a lot of things. But I hate Snapchat. So, so much.
I’ve deleted it multiple times. Only to redownload it “just in case.” I am such a loser with no will-power, I know. But I still have Snapchat and hate Snapchat simultaneously.
To start, streaks. What is the point? And one-day streaks? Can that even be considered a streak?? Seriously, how does sending a picture of the corner of your room daily to people you wouldn’t even say hi to in Walmart put the “social” in social media? And let’s be real here—most of you won’t even open your reply until your nightly cleanse, where you just tap your phone furiously until the notification goes away. Some of you might not even do that until the end of the week. You know who you are. The only exceptions are your pre-determined elite list of people you’ve deemed worthy of replying to within a reasonable time frame.
On top of that, snapback culture is appalling. As an avid anti-snapper-backer, I loathe getting random pictures of ceilings from people. It’s even worse when I’ve been put on someone’s streak shortcut, resulting in weeks of unopened snaps because I must’ve not made that elite list. I don’t exactly connect with strangers when all I see is a picture of their LED lights every night with a big, fat “s” scribbled across the middle.
The worst of social media started to get even worse when the big dawgs at Snap, Inc. decided to put a premium version of the app up for grabs. I’m talking limited memory storage, notifications for phantom quick-adds and worst of all: that god-awful 3D bitmoji. Why does it look like that? The day that monstrosity appeared on my screen was the day I learned life isn’t fair. Whenever I accidentally swipe over to Snapchat spotlight, I typically feel an internal cringe so intense that I banish myself from Snapchat for the remainder of the hour. The only tolerable public story that I’ve ever been semi-entertained by is those pimple-popping ones—even if there are ads galore or the thumbnail isn’t the first video that pops up when I tap on it. I can tolerate those. Besides that, watching most things on Snapchat is like seeing what’s fallen on the floor at Goodwill.
And since we’re being honest, Snapchat lies to you when it says I viewed your story. I literally just clicked through it as fast as I could. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Now, if you pay to be able to do things like change your chat wallpaper, I’m not judging that harshly. But I am judging. It’s not personal.
