The end. Fin. The finale. The final chapter. Whatever you want to call it, welcome to the final hot takes (unless someone takes it over next year). I would love for Joey Winton’s creation to live on for the next 100 years and it’s been a pleasure to take this column over.
For the final one, I couldn’t decide whether or not to do something sentimental or do something utterly wacky or maybe just go scorched earth on everyone. Quite frankly, none of these initially stood out to me and I debated on not even doing a hot take, rather saying my goodbyes. But alas, I couldn’t do that to all the dedicated readers who live and die by hot takes.
So I racked my brain for things I’d want to talk about this summer but wouldn’t have the chance to and a national holiday popped into mind. Shark Week. And after I thought of that, I couldn’t resist.
Now there are approximately 126 different species of sharks, so we’re not going to look at all of them. Instead, I will provide you with my top five sharks. Let’s dive in. (Get it? Dive? Like water? Where the sharks live? Holy hell that’s funny.)
Whale Shark: I absolutely love the “gentle giant” trope in just about anything, wildlife included. (I’m pretty sure that’s why I love giraffes so much.) These amazing creatures are miracles in my opinion. They’re so giant but so graceful and the fact they’re typically spotted makes them even cooler.
Hammerhead: I’m going to look past the whole “one-of-the-deadliest creatures” thing and just appreciate the Hammerhead as a feat of nature. Why does its head look like that? I’m sure I could Google the answer and get a very easy-to-understand answer, but I think the mystery of its looks is part of what I find so appealing.
Lemon Shark: Truly a shark after my own nature. These sharks only hang out in tropical waters where it’s nice and warm. One of the coolest things about these sharks, in my opinion, is that the mothers do not lay eggs like most sharks. They give birth to a little baby shark in shallow waters and then continue to return to that area to take care of their baby. Adorable, right?
Black Tip Reef Shark: I’m a big fan of this shark for similar reasons I love the whale shark. Primarily, I love their blackfin. Their dorsal fin (or the one on top) has a little black tip you can identify them by and I just think that’s so neat. Neat!
Nurse Shark: We’ve all heard the saying that sharks have to stay moving or they’ll die. What I love about this one is that they just don’t care and proceed to rest on ocean floors all the livelong day. It’s just the juxtaposition of one of the deadliest creatures chilling and napping on the floor that I find so appealing.
