I mean, finals are only a little over three weeks away. No biggie, it’s just probably close to one of the most stressful weeks of your life, next to dead week. Shouldn’t you be studying instead of procrastinating with this article? Trust me, this article is not going to help you with your bio class.
Focus on your academics, they said, but make sure you are prioritizing those lifelong friends you made. Greek formals take up every weekend, but dude, your paper is due Monday morning, and you haven’t even started. But also, the end of the year is near, and you’re thousands of dollars in debt EXCEPT for all of those damn Doane Dollars. So… figure that out. Summer job perhaps? It might make you more grateful to come back in the fall. But… maybe you’re graduating and that “summer job” is the only job. The forever job. Yikes. Sorry seniors. You can stop reading now and go back to working on your Capstone projects.
Either way, those finals determine if you wasted your semester (and your money) going to that one, dreadful 8 a.m. to get those three credits for a class not even required for your major. Don’t they say every credit hour is 2-3 hours outside of the classroom per week? Let’s do some math here. Eighteen hours in class plus 45 hours doing work (2.5/credit hour) = 63 hours. But wait, add a couple more for voice lessons I need to practice for, ten more for sports practices/gym time, 14 more just to eat, seven more for showering and other personal hygiene, 10 hours more for that part-time job or Greek life, .5 for reading the Owl. Let’s not forget the recommended 56 hours of sleep time. And with finals nearing, let’s add a couple more for those group projects that you usually get stuck with. 164.5 out of the 168 hours of a week. Congratulations! You probably feel extreme anxiety right now!
Anyways, make sure those 3.5 hours remaining are reserved for packing up your ENTIRE LIFE into a few IKEA bags into your trunk from your rinky dink dorm room down the rinky dink stairs (I don’t want to hear it Brodie/Hansen) because you’re probably going back to someplace only half as interesting as this campus. Take that as you will.
I’m surprised you are still reading this. Your email inbox needs to be checked, and your room is so disturbingly disgusting that it actually repels insects. My patience is running thin, and so is the remaining motivation to do anything remotely academic. If you are getting déjà vu reading this, congrats once again! You are officially my fan because you must have read my first op/ed. What a journey we’ve been through. I did end up sleeping through an 8 a.m., though (super sorry, Dr. DeBoer). Before I leave you, I want you to ask yourself a few questions. Did you say no to things that didn’t ultimately benefit you? Did you say yes to things that may have scared you? Have you told people how grateful you are for them? Was your year full of growth? It’s okay if it wasn’t.
No one is perfect, so don’t expect yourself to be.
